How to be an Effective Father

Dr David Molapo is an internationally recognized motivational speaker and management consultant. He has worked with many high profile people including former South African president Nelson Mandela.

He holds two of South Africa’s most prestigious awards: the ‘Young Achiever of the Year’ and the ‘Four Outstanding South Africans’ Award.

He has also written books including Growing Up Spiritually, The 10 Exciting Keys to Success, and If You Are Not Growing, You Are Dying.

I recently had the opportunity to produce a message delivered by Dr Molapo. He was speaking about fatherhood; the problems caused by absent fathers and the vitally important role that men play in the lives of their wife and children.

He gave some really good practical advice as to how men could be better men and, more specifically, how they could lead their family better.

11 Things Men must do to be better Dads

1.         Appreciation.  A family man must show appreciation for both visible and invisible work.  Say to your family members “I appreciate you.”

2.         Affirmation.  Fathers must affirm their children, their wives, their colleagues, and generally the people around them.

3.         Affection.  Any good father needs to give his children physical affection. There are huge psychological benefits related to a kind touch.

4.         Commitment.  Dr Molapo points outs the important difference between involvement and commitment.  He uses an analogy of an egg and bacon breakfast. The chicken is involved in providing the eggs for the breakfast, but the pig has to be totally committed in giving all of himself to provide the bacon, and has to sacrifice everything. Be prepared to be totally committed to your family.

5.         Provide the best gifts of Time (both quality and quantitative) and Attention. Switch the cellphone etc off when you’re with the kids, and give them your undivided
attention.

6.         Encouragement.  A great dad is a man who builds an atmosphere of encouragement. Don’t just be a present father, “be there” when you are present and encourage your family. Encouragement is like oxygen to the soul.

7.         Communicate.  A great father is a communicator. Communicate with your wife and children; too many adults have grown up without a communicative father.  Don’t walk into a room always moaning, grumbling and complaining. Many children will react to this by going outside the home environment to find a father figure. This leads to a generation of confused kids who often find themselves in trouble.

8.         Show you Care. A father must care. “Because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

9.         Connect.  People need connection.  Fathers need to connect daily. Constantly compliment your family. Catch your wife your child doing something right for a change.

10.       Do the Right Thing, and not the easy thing. It’s easy to do the easy thing. The right thing is where we discipline with love. Children need boundaries to understand respect for other people, and to not grow up being selfish.

11.       Centre everything on God and His word.

You can order the full dvd of this message here.

See other parenting tips.